YA Author Stacey Kade

All right, I’m probably not even going to post this, but I HAD to get it off my chest. GAH!

I read lots of books in a variety of areas. Adult, young adult. Science fiction, paranormal, contemporary, urban fantasy, historical, romance, mystery. Serious, funny, absurd.

I go to each of these books for a different reason. Sometimes I want to be scared. Sometimes I want to cry or be deeply moved. Sometimes I just want to go along for the ride while we’re slaying demons or trying not be seduced by one.

I don’t consider any of these genres or subgenres to be lesser than another. They’re just different. Depending on my mood or what’s going on with my life, a certain kind of book will appeal to me more at one moment than another. I think a lot of people are like that.

So, can someone please explain to me why we insist on valuing these books differently? I’m not talking about whether you enjoy more one than the other–I’m okay with that. We all do that.

I’m talking about openly praising one type of book for being better than others because of it’s NOT in a particular category or putting down another because it is in said category.

I just finished reading an article–not a blog entry or a personal list but an actual official article from news source–that listed five or so YA books as the best of 2010. And I agree that every single one of those books on the list deserved to be there, based on my own experience with them or what I’d read about the books from others (still need to read a couple of them myself.)

But what bugged me and sent me straight to my keyboard to write this was the last line of the article, which was something to the effect of, “See? Good books in the Young Adult category and not a single paranormal creature among them.” Like this was something to be proud of or–and this is what irritated me–that the category of “good books” and “paranormal” could not overlap.

Urrrrgggh.

First, it’s misleading to assume or imply that YA is made up of nothing but paranormal stories. Yes, there are a lot of them and yes, SOME of them get lots and lots of attention. But there are many amazing contemporary, historical, mystery, suspense, and spy novels, too. (A few recent ones off the top of my head: Rosebush by Michele Jaffe, DUFF by Kody Keplinger, Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly, Fall for Anything by Courtney Summers, Return to Paradise by Simone Elkeles.)

I know the perception is that YA is all paranormal, all the time–and I know that can be frustrating for those who don’t enjoy that subgenre–but it’s not actually helping to counteract that situation by writing a sentence that implies you had to wade through mounds of paranormal crap to find these few diamonds in the rough. If you want people to know about other books outside the paranormal genre, then recommend more of them. There’s no need to bash on your way out the door. There just isn’t. You’re certainly not going to endear yourself to paranormal readers by doing so.

Yes, there are lots of paranormal/science fiction/fantasy stories out there right now and I’m not even going to pretend to be less than thrilled about that. That means I get to read and write what I love. Period. How awesome is that?

But do we need to hate on an entire subgenre just because it’s popular? Do we need to assume that just because it’s popular and kids like it that it must be junk? I don’t get that.

Believe me, I know there’s less than stellar story-telling out there–everywhere, in fact. Not just in the paranormal genre. And I’m all for calling a spade a spade. You don’t like a book? That’s okay, you don’t have to. You don’t HAVE to like anything. There are lots of books that are wildly popular in the paranormal genre that I have not been able to connect with or finish. Fine. That’s just how it is. No biggie.

But to dismiss an entire subgenre simply because of what it is, without regard to the quality of story-telling or writing within it, doesn’t make sense.

If it makes you laugh and cry but has a vampire in it, is it less of a book than one that makes you laugh and cry WITHOUT a vampire in it?

Why? Who says?

I think there might be a perception that working with paranormal creatures is easier because you can just make stuff up. But here’s the deal–writing is hard no matter WHAT you’re writing.

I feel like this is the same attitude that makes comedies less likely to win Best Picture at the Oscars. Do we need to cry in order to acknowledge the quality of something? Can’t evoking emotion–whether it’s laughter or tears–and engaging the reader/viewer–in whatever way possible–simply be enough? Why do we have to qualify it?

Again, we’re not talking about whether you liked a certain book or not. We’re talking about lining books up under the label of “Best Books of 2010.” The selection for that list is completely opinion-based, I know. We have no objective way to measure this kind of thing.

So, maybe my issue is more with how that list in the article was labeled. If paranormal books aren’t even in the running, not even up for consideration, then say that. Call it The Best Non-Paranormal Books of 2010. Then I’m fine with it.

Whew. End rant.

What do you guys think? Am I off the mark here? Blinded by my love of all things supernatural?

I get emails every once in awhile asking about writing advice. As with anything writing-related, every experience is different and everyone has their own way of doing things, but I thought I’d write about what has helped me. Maybe you’ll find it helpful or maybe it’ll be one more method to check off your list before trying something else. And that’s okay, too–remember, there really is no one way to write a book (h/t once again to Ally Carter for that phrase)!

So, this week, it’s about process. I don’t know how it works for everyone else, but writing for me is often like watching a little movie in my head. (And I LOVE that!) However, it’s like a movie in pieces, out of order and making no sense. At least in the beginning.

When I first started writing, I’d get so excited about that first “scene” I saw in my head, and I’d sit down right away and start writing. The trouble was, I quickly found, I had no context for what was going on and I didn’t know how to continue beyond that scene.

Imagine walking into a darkened theater where a movie is already playing. You have no idea how long the movie has been going on, only that everyone else inside the theater is already settled and watching in riveted silence. On the screen, a girl is running through the dark woods. By the light of the full moon, you can see she’s been crying, her cheek is bruised and her lip is split and bloody. She’s carrying a big, antique-looking metal box with a heavy lock on the front. It’s awkward and causes her to stumble more than once. She’d definitely be moving faster if she ditched the box, but she doesn’t. Even when she glances back over her shoulder at a shadowy figure in the darkened woods and it’s clear she’s being chased and she’s terrified.

Great. Except…what happens next? Well, the problem for me was that there were just too many possibilities and I had no idea which one was the “right” one, in that it would allow the story to progress. Mainly this was because I had no idea what I was seeing or what it meant. Was getting this box the final step at the end of the story? Or are we just kicking things off by stealing this box? And what’s in it that is so important to this girl? We know it’s important because she doesn’t abandon it to get away. Who is she? Who is chasing her?

Does she get caught here and have to prove her mettle by taking on whatever is chasing her? Does she escape cleanly…for now? Does she open the box and hide whatever is inside from whoever or whatever is chasing her? Any of these possibilities are, well, possible! It depends on where we are in the story, who these characters are, and what they are trying to accomplish.

The first thing I do is jot down all the possibilities of what the next scene might be, just so I don’t forget what I was originally thinking. Then I go back to that little snippet of film in my head, and I slow it down so I can note all the details, knowing that some may change or go away as I find my way through this. But I don’t know for sure what’s important at this stage, so I write down everything I can see and treat the details as clues.

How old is the girl? What does she look like? What is she wearing? Regular clothes probably mean a contemporary setting, even though the box is old-fashioned looking. Is she scared simply of being caught? Or is she more frightened about what will happen if the person/thing chasing her gets a hold of the box and its contents?

I write down everything I know (based on what I’m seeing) and then it’s time for a little context. We know this isn’t the first thing that happened to this girl in the story because she had to get to the woods and find the box and acquire those injuries somehow. Now, for the sake of interest, we could start the story with this chase and then flashback to when the story starts, but we still need to know what happened and in what order for HER. No matter how we read her story, to her, it happened in regular linear time. We need to have that timeline, even if we don’t write or present the story in that order.

So I take some notes on what might have happened immediately before this moment.

(Also, throughout this process, I continue to try to push the film forward or run it back to see if more scenes appear, which they usually do but almost always out of order. I don’t get the next scene; I get the second to last scene or something near the middle. That’s okay. I just write it down, knowing that I’ll use it eventually.)

Now…this is the point at which I’d often get stuck. There’s only so much that film can tell you. TV and movies, in that respect, are more limited. You only know what a character is thinking if the character tells you. In books, that’s not the case. So, I start getting to know the characters. In the case of our girl being chased, I have already two characters: a protagonist (the girl) and an antagonist (whoever is chasing her). Yeah, I want to know what their favorite breakfast cereal is and their most humiliating moment, but even more than that, I need to know the following things:

–WHO are they?
Is the girl in the woods a college student or in high school? Is she an orphan or the daughter of a wealthy family? Is keeping this box safe the first thing she’s ever fought for or is she a seasoned warrior (like Buffy)? Who is chasing her? I haven’t seen them yet in the movie, so I can’t draw too many conclusions about them yet.

–WHAT do they want?
In this case, it’s pretty clear they both want the box or, more likely, whatever is in it. The girl and her pursuer are likely going to spend the story trying to acquire and then KEEP the box from the other, for their own reasons.

–WHY do they want what they want?
They each want the box. Why? Well, my guess is that depends on what’s IN the box. And I don’t know yet what that is. I’m going to need to do some exploring on that and soon because my story is going to hang on the value of that box and why it’s important. But even without knowing what’s inside of the box, I can say that most likely the girl is trying to do something “good” with the box. She’s trying to keep someone else from destroying the world or she wants to use to help someone she loves.

Perhaps someone has taken a person she loves as a hostage until she delivers the box, and she’s the only one who can touch the box safely because of a curse on it. This girl, descended from the witch who cursed it, has immunity. But that wouldn’t explain why she’s being chased. If someone has blackmailed her into getting the box, they wouldn’t be chasing her. So either that’s not the scenario or the person chasing her is not the blackmailer. Perhaps it is someone else who wants the box or maybe it’s someone charged with the responsibility of guarding the box.

–WHY CAN’T they have what they want right now?
Well, again, that depends on why they’re doing what they’re doing. The girl can get the box because she’s immune to the curse, but if she delivers the box to save her loved one, she knows the blackmailers will use it to do something bad. The blackmailers, assuming we go with this story idea, can’t touch the box because of the curse.

It’s important to recognize here that you need to know what your villains are up to and why. They are the heroes of their own story. They have a reason for what they’re doing and they don’t think of themselves as evil. On the contrary, in their minds, they are the misunderstood saviors of the world. Even if, in this case, they are planning to use the box to wipe out the entire world, they will justify it by saying there is so much pain and suffering in life today, that they just want everyone to be at peace. You see?

(Note: the above questions come from Goal, Motivation & Conflict by Debra Dixon, a fabulous book that I highly recommend. Buy it from the publisher, though, not from Amazon. It’s waaay cheaper from the publisher.)

So, I do a lot of pre-writing–taking notes, getting to know characters and exploring possibilities–before I actually start writing the story. That being said, I ALWAYS take notes on scenes that appear or bits of dialogue, even if I don’t know yet where they fit or how to use them. They’re showing up in my head for a reason, and I don’t want to forget/lose them. I carry a notebook with me always for this purpose.

Once I’ve got most of these questions answered, the blank spots filled in, I feel like I’m on solid ground…and ready to jump off the cliff into writing. You never know what will happen once you start writing; it’s a bit of a free-fall. But with my notes, I feel like I have a rough idea of the destination and the conditions that will affect my trip. If that makes sense.

And if that all sounds like a lot of work, in addition to the actual writing of the book, you’re right. Writing, to me, is very much like the whole iceberg analogy. Only small percentage of all the work shows up on the final page. Everything is else is beneath the surface but still necessary for that bit to rise to the top.

But as I said in the beginning, what I’ve talked about here may or may not make sense for how you write. That’s okay! There are lots of different ways to write, and we’re all searching for new ways to improve and/or make things easier.

Thoughts? Questions? Got a better way? Share it here!

When I started thinking about writing G&G, I didn’t have a name for the ghost girl who’d been killed by the bus. Actually, I didn’t have a full name for anyone. I only knew Killian was Killian and that that was his last name. I didn’t know his first name was Will for a LONG time.

But back to Alona (much like she’d prefer it)…I knew what she was mostly like: dead, bitchy, sarcastic, cheerleader. But I also knew she had vulnerabilities she was not willing to reveal and that much of what people did not like about her was a form of her protecting herself. (By the way, I also did not know what Alona’s secret was when I started writing, only that she had one. And my initial guess? Totally wrong.)

In my mind, she is strong, just perhaps not in the way most of us think of it (strength=heroic=nice). She has that not-so-nice edge to her as well. Defense as well as offense, you know?

So, I needed a name that would fit her. I have a baby name book and websites I peruse for this exact purpose. I also usually look up the names that were most popular in the year a character was born so I’m not naming him or her something that is out of date or wildly unpopular (unless there’s a reason for that).

But none of those methods worked for me this time. All the names I could find sounded too typical, cliched, one-dimensional. I wanted her name to convey beauty, strength and the isolation that she feels–not that she would ever admit that.

Now, this would have been back in late 2005, early 2006 when I was just starting to think about writing this book. I wouldn’t actually start writing it until February 2007. But it was simmering in the back of my brain.

At or around that same time, I would have been watching Veronica Mars, one of the BEST shows on television in the last decade. Not kidding. At some point, I noticed that the character of Meg Manning, one of the few people in Neptune still nice to the title character AND a member of the Spirit Squad, was played by an actress named Alona Tal. (I had not started watching Supernatural at that point, believe it or not, so I never saw her as Jo until just this year.)

I liked how she played Meg, showing equal parts vulnerability and strength (the same with Jo, for that matter, although Meg was not nearly as kickass as Jo) and that reminded me of this girl I had yet to name. (I swear to you, it did not occur to me until much later how close “Alona” is to “Alone,” which is perfect for who Alona Dare is.)

So, Alona Dare is named for Alona Tal. And if you haven’t watched Veronica Mars, get thee to your Netflix Queue and order up!

I received the final cover for Queen of the Dead and permission to post it. I really love it and am so excited to share it with you guys!

Without further ado:

If you’ve seen the previous version, you’ll note that the main difference is in Will’s expression. He looks just a little bit more annoyed, which delights me. Though his life is certainly better than it was before, Alona still drives him crazy on a regular basis. That’s just part of who they are together. And I think this image reflects that better.

We still have the gorgeous diner set up with all the yummy desserts and the soft colors. Alona’s expression is still that wicked “I’m up to no good, and you totally know it” look. And Will is showing just a tad more of the “FML” attitude that I imagine he feels on a fairly regular basis when he’s caught up in one of Alona’s schemes.

Also, aren’t the models both so gorgeous? They do such a great job representing Alona and Will. I love it!

I’ve been looking for a topic to blog about and, coincidentally, I’ve gotten a few emails lately asking me about how I found my publisher, how the process works, how long did it take me to get published, etc. (Also, a couple of you suggested this as a topic when I asked–thank you for that. I’m terrible at figuring out post topics!)

So, here we go…

Wait. Before I start this, I have to say that this is just MY experience. Yours may be totally different. Just as there is no one way to write a book (tip of the hat to Ally Carter for that Twitter phrase), there is also no one way to publication. (The negatives in that sentence make my brain hurt, but I think you know what I mean.)

Okay…

What’s interesting to me is that if you look just at my YA experience, it all seems to have happened rather quickly. I wrote The Ghost and the Goth (which is the original title, by the way. I got to keep it!) from February to May in 2007. It was the first young adult novel I’d ever written, but I’d gotten back into reading YA several years before and LOVED how it had changed from when I was that age. (Such variety and freshness and truth-telling in these stories, so exciting!)

As some of you probably know, I have a sister who is thirteen years younger than me. She was graduating from high school in the spring of 2007. I really wanted to write about this YA idea I had about a bitchy dead girl ghost and the outcast guy who can see her, but I was scared to because it was so far outside of what I’d been writing. My motivation, then, became I knew how much my sister enjoyed reading YA and wouldn’t it be fun to give this story to her? Also, maybe if, as I went along writing it, I felt it was holding up well enough, I would try to get it published.

I had a blast writing G&G. Just had so much fun with it. And that was a wonderful lesson to gain from writing this book. I’d never realized it could be that much fun. I actually experienced moments of glee while writing. (This should have been a big clue to me that maybe I’d found what I should have been writing all along.)

Though it wasn’t without its hardships as well. I got about 3/4 of the way through the story and stopped because I didn’t know how to finish it. I’d opened up doors and story threads that I didn’t know how to close off. That is something I continue to struggle with as a writer. I love creating the problems, letting my characters make a mess of things, digging themselves in deeper, sometimes too much so. I get too many things going on at once and then they can’t get out…or the path to getting out is so convoluted, it can’t be followed. I’m still working on getting better at that!

At any rate, I had other writing projects going on at the moment, so G&G got shuffled to the side, temporarily.

I HAD to finish revisions to G&G in about a month or month and a half in early 2008, when a request for a full manuscript came in from the wonderful literary agent who would become MY wonderful literary agent, Laura Bradford. Uh, yeah. Don’t do what I did and query on a project that isn’t quite finished because then you have that awful “quick, hurry up and get it done, but wait, don’t screw it up because this is a big opportunity” pressure that I experienced. I lived on Dr. Pepper and Reeses’ Peanut Butter eggs for quick sugar and caffeine highs to keep pushing those revisions forward. I was, at the time, working full-time in an office and writing at night…and in the morning…and over lunch.

Laura signed me in April 2008, and we had an offer from Hyperion at the end of June 2008. Amazingly fast! Also, I got the most awesome, spectacularly fun, and brilliant editor–Christian Trimmer–in the deal. Yea!

So…just a little over a year from the first word written to having a contract. Fast and simple, right?

That would be a very big fat NO, actually.

See, I’d been writing pretty steadily since graduating from college. I’d started my first book back in 1998 and finished in 2000. That book will be one that never ever sees the light of day, but it taught me a lot. I wrote my second book in 2001 and then struggled with revisions for TWO years because I knew something was wrong with it, but I didn’t know what. The trouble was that everything I’d learned about writing, I’d learned from a couple of creative writing classes and reading lots and lots of books. Both of those are an excellent start for a writing education but definitely not enough. Not even close.

I started researching writing: other people’s techniques, what worked for them, what didn’t. I stumbled across Christopher Vogler’s screenwriting book, “The Writer’s Journey,” which provided the equivalent of a light bulb over my head.

I revised my book and started querying agents in 2003. Lots and lots of rejection followed. I eventually found a small, independent press that was willing to publish my book, the first in a series. Hurrah! They were lovely people, just starting up their own press, and I would be their first release.

It was all smashing and wonderful…for about a year. Then, my publisher contacted me and let me know that the financials just weren’t there for them to continue in this business. I was disappointed (crushed, actually), but understood. They had been very good to me and I had no complaints about the way I’d been treated, which is not always the case in situations like these.

So, then I had to start the querying process all over again. This time, though, I had the advantage of having learned a lot from my first go-around. I’d attended the Romantic Times Booklovers convention, met agents and other authors, and best of all, my mentor and friend, Linnea Sinclair. (She deserves a blog post entirely devoted to who she is, the amazing inspiration and help she has been, and how grateful I am, but the short version is I could not have done this without her. Truly.)

Despite my experience and best efforts, I still, however, could not find representation with an agent. I eventually landed at a supportive independent press willing to take on my previously published book, its sequel, and a new mystery I’d written that I LOVED.

I’m debating with myself now, writing and erasing lines, about how to continue this post. I could finish it as simply as, “And then I started writing G&G, and the rest is history,” but that’s not quite true. If I’m being honest, I’m worried I’m going to get flak for the following paragraphs, but oh, hell, it’s my story and I think you should have the truth as I see it.

The truth is, I wanted to have an agent. I wanted to see my book on the shelves in Borders and Barnes and Noble. I wanted, more than anything, to be a full-time writer. But it is very difficult (though not impossible, as there are examples of those who have done so) to accomplish those last two goals without a larger, NY-based publisher. Larger companies have a wider reach, the means and systems in place for better distribution. And I wanted that for G&G…if it was at all possible.

When I finished G&G, I could have stayed within the small press/independent publishing realm. I had the contacts, the comfort level and the confidence to do so. But I had to choose between the safety of what I knew and the risk of going after what I really wanted. There was absolutely nothing wrong with staying put, except that it wasn’t what I really wanted.

So, I took a chance. I started querying again, getting rejected AGAIN…and what do you know? This time, it worked. I found an agent who loved the book I’d written, and my book found a home with the amazing people at Hyperion.

And all of this happened approximately TEN YEARS after I’d started writing with the intent to be published. (Note: Remember what I said. This is just how it worked for me. Nothing says it will take anyone else this long!)

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that writing, like many, many other things, is often more about persistence than anything else. There are always going to be ups and downs, highs and lows, amazing accomplishments and obstacles that you think you’re never going to get past. But refusing to give up, pushing yourself to keep going and keep learning, and holding tight to your dream–that’s the really important stuff.

So, that’s my publishing story. I know I’m throwing around lots of terms (literary agents, querying, etc.) Let me know if you have questions.

Do I have other stuff I should be doing? Most definitely. Could I resist this form of procrastination once I started thinking about it? Not with all my strength.

And so I present to you…
10 Rules for Surviving Supernatural (the show) as a Female:

1. Never, EVER, wear a white nightgown. Seriously.

2. Do not be attractive and (seemingly) alone in your place of residence. Toss on some baggy sweats and wash off your make up. It might just save your life.

3. If two unreasonably handsome men show up at your door claiming to be FBI (or any other governmental agency), answer their questions as best you can (and admire their unreasonable handsomeness) but then get the hell out of town. Trouble is somewhere nearby, if not already lurking in your home.

4. If you have kids and they’re behaving normally, stick close to them. You *might* just survive whatever is coming your way.

5. If you have kids and they’re behaving strangely, get out, get out NOW. They’ll be fine…or some kind of hellspawn or whatever.

6. Don’t be a virgin in danger. Despite best efforts, it doesn’t end well.

7. Spend your baby’s six month b-day in a circle of salt with a fire hose of holy water at the ready (or in Bobby Singer’s panic room, if you know him.)

8. If you’re an adorable little girl, well…most likely it’s already too late for you. You’re probably a demon or a ghost or weird little vampire twins…

9. Don’t be plucky, feisty, and/or seemingly capable of fighting your own battles. You’ll be called upon to sacrifice yourself.

10. If you have the opportunity to sleep with one of the Winchesters, weigh your options carefully: A long, normal life…or a short one with a brutal end (but directly preceded by said Winchester opportunity.)

Yeah, that’s what I thought. It was nice knowing you.

Okay, fellow Supernatural fans, what else am I missing? What other rules should these women know to protect themselves?

Cross-posted at The Bradford Bunch

Good morning!

I’m so excited–yesterday, I received the advance reading copies of The Ghost and the Goth, Book Two: Queen of the Dead!

For whatever reason, a book just never feels quite real to me until I see it in this form. Writing this book, in particular, was a bit tricky, as it involved revising and rewriting while I was on tour this summer for the first book. In fact, I have very fond memories of squeezing in a paragraph or two, here and there, in various airports, hotels, planes and trains across the country. This was a very well-traveled work in progress.

So, I’m thrilled to see it in book-shape, in the form of the ARC. And I love the diner background for the cover–it’s just beautiful. Alona’s expression is just perfect too–she’s up to mischief and she knows it.

Some interesting (I hope!) facts about the cover:
–It’s not quite final, so there may be some additional tweaks.

–The models for Will and Alona (both of whom I LOVE) are the same as on the first cover. The photos for both covers were shot at the same time. And I believe there are photos for the third cover from that shoot as well. Yea! I think these models are perfect as Will and Alona and I’m thrilled to have the consistency of them on all three books!

–Will is a busboy in the second book; hence, his apron. In the earliest draft of the book, we spent much more time in the diner. But as I was revising, I cut out most of the diner-based material, and then–yikes–learned the cover was going to be set as a diner. But, with that in mind, a perfect opportunity for a new diner scene in the book came up, and it all worked out beautifully.

–I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but the gym uniform Alona is wearing is based on my high school’s required gym uniform. So I just love that they put her on the cover in that outfit–it looks so familiar (and right) to me because of my own high school experience!

Here are a few pictures:

The front cover:

The back cover (I love how the diner scene wraps around to the back with the stools and counter):

A close-up (relatively speaking) of Will and Alona:

Queen of the Dead comes out on June 7, 2011! That sounds so very far away, but it’ll be here before you know it…and hopefully not too quickly as I’m still writing the third (and final) book in the trilogy!

(Cross-posted at The Bradford Bunch.)

I went to visit my sister this weekend. She goes to Valparaiso University in Indiana, just as I did. It’s amazing to me that, even after more than a decade, just being on campus brightens my mood. Old buildings have been torn down and new ones put up in their places; the main road through campus no longer goes all the way through, much to my befuddlement; most of the familiar faces are gone, with the exception of my sister, her friends, and few professors. But it still feels like home to me, in a way few other places do.

I hated high school. Well, maybe “hate” is too strong a word. I endured high school. I don’t think it was anybody’s fault but my own. I was just never comfortable in my own skin (something I still struggle with) and spent an enormous amount of time analyzing everything being said and done around me, in the hopes of determining a pattern and/or the “right” thing to say and do. Now, granted, that has paid off with my ability to recall that time in my life with ridiculous accuracy, but it was not a fun few years.

And my worst fear when it came time to choose a college was that I would be in for four more years of the same. I visited all sorts of schools in that year or year and a half and tried to picture myself at each of them. Valpo felt right to me in a way that none of the others did. I remember that I couldn’t exactly express to my skeptical parents why this, the most expensive school on my list with the least amount of financial aid available, was the right fit.

I wanted to be an English major so it wasn’t that the school offered something I couldn’t get elsewhere. It’s a private university with a Lutheran-affiliation…just like two others on my short list. It wasn’t the biggest school on my list (10,000 plus) or the smallest (1,000–yikes).

But from the time I took that on-campus tour (I still remember what I was wearing), I knew this was the place for me. Actually, that makes me sound like I was a lot more certain than I was at the time. It was really more like the first time I felt this vague, I don’t know, *push* toward something. A gut instinct, maybe. It was weird, exciting and terrifying. If I wanted this, I’d really have to work at it. There would be convincing my parents and then getting loans (which I would be paying off until my early thirties). And what if I was wrong? What if I was mistaken about what I thought was guidance? All of this was based on something I couldn’t quite identify–a feeling, an instinct, a whisper you can’t quite hear. Rational thinking would have led me to an entirely different choice.

I wrestled with the decision for months, both before and after I made it. And I have the journals to prove it.

But I did it. I pushed to go to Valpo, even though I had no overriding reason to do so other than instinct, even though my parents were worried about the money, the effect the loans would have on my future, and more.

It was the first time I’d ever heard that little voice inside myself speaking up loudly and insistently enough that I had to listen. I made a big choice that my parents were probably less than thrilled with at the time, my first act of independent thinking and, honestly, rebellion. I was, and still am, a people-pleaser, so making a decision I knew they didn’t like was incredibly hard for me.

But it was the right decision for me, in so very many ways. First in that I found what I was looking for. A community, a place where I could thrive and belong just by being myself. I also got an amazing education, my best friends in the whole world, and my husband, too–all from that one decision.

But there’s more. Listening to that vague voice for the first time and realizing I was correct to do so was invaluable. Not just because it landed me where I needed to be, though that is certainly true. But because that’s the same voice that pushed and nagged at me to write my first book, and then to write another when the first was more of a learning experience rather than anything publishable.

It’s still the voice I listen for today when I’m writing, though some days it’s hard to hear it over the shouting of my own worries and fears. That’s when I know it’s time to calm things down and just listen.

I am proud of myself for listening and pursuing what I felt was right, both back when I was picking a college and when I started to write. It’s never an easy thing to buck the crowd and ignore those who tell you you’re making a mistake, you’re taking an unnecessary risk, or you’re going to get hurt. Those are, as always, distinct possibilities with every decision. But what I’ve come to realize is that you have to go with your instincts, trust yourself, and listen to that voice. Because then, at least the dents and dings you get along the way are ones you’ve earned by going after what you want instead of trying to play it safe, by someone else’s standards, and getting hurt and making mistakes anyway.

How about you? Any voices in your life?

Hey guys…

No vlog today (though I’m still taking suggestions if there are things you want to see/hear about).

But I do have something fun to share. Got permission to share the back cover copy that will be on the ARCs of Queen of the Dead. This is not final, even for the ARCs, and the jacket copy for QOTD will be different as well, but it should give you a pretty good idea of what the book is about!

After being sent back from the light, Alona Dare–former homecoming queen, current Queen of the Dead–finds herself doing something she never expected: working. Instead of spending days perfecting her tan by the pool (her typical summer routine when she was, you know, alive), Alona must now cater to the needs of other lost spirits. By her side for all of this, ugh, “helping of others” is Will Killian: social outcast, seer of the dead, and someone Alona cares about more than she’d like.

Unfortunately for Alona, Will has other stuff on his mind, and Mina, a young (and beautiful) seer, is at the top of the list. She’s the first ghost-talker Will’s ever met—aside from his father—and she may hold answers to Will’s troubled past. But can she be trusted? Alona immediately signs her name in the “clearly not” column. But Will is, ahem, willing to find out, even if it means leaving a hurt and angry Alona to her own devices, which is never a good idea.

Packed with romance, lovable characters, and a killer cliffhanger, Queen of the Dead is the out-of-this-world sequel to The Ghost and the Goth.

So, after being horribly embarrassed about the boring state of my junk drawer and the messy state of my kitchen, I’m showing my office. Why? Because it’s slightly more interesting (in my opinion) and because you can meet Pansy (greyhound 2 of 3)