Do I have other stuff I should be doing? Most definitely. Could I resist this form of procrastination once I started thinking about it? Not with all my strength.

And so I present to you…
10 Rules for Surviving Supernatural (the show) as a Female:

1. Never, EVER, wear a white nightgown. Seriously.

2. Do not be attractive and (seemingly) alone in your place of residence. Toss on some baggy sweats and wash off your make up. It might just save your life.

3. If two unreasonably handsome men show up at your door claiming to be FBI (or any other governmental agency), answer their questions as best you can (and admire their unreasonable handsomeness) but then get the hell out of town. Trouble is somewhere nearby, if not already lurking in your home.

4. If you have kids and they’re behaving normally, stick close to them. You *might* just survive whatever is coming your way.

5. If you have kids and they’re behaving strangely, get out, get out NOW. They’ll be fine…or some kind of hellspawn or whatever.

6. Don’t be a virgin in danger. Despite best efforts, it doesn’t end well.

7. Spend your baby’s six month b-day in a circle of salt with a fire hose of holy water at the ready (or in Bobby Singer’s panic room, if you know him.)

8. If you’re an adorable little girl, well…most likely it’s already too late for you. You’re probably a demon or a ghost or weird little vampire twins…

9. Don’t be plucky, feisty, and/or seemingly capable of fighting your own battles. You’ll be called upon to sacrifice yourself.

10. If you have the opportunity to sleep with one of the Winchesters, weigh your options carefully: A long, normal life…or a short one with a brutal end (but directly preceded by said Winchester opportunity.)

Yeah, that’s what I thought. It was nice knowing you. 🙂

Okay, fellow Supernatural fans, what else am I missing? What other rules should these women know to protect themselves?

27 comments to “10 Rules for Surviving Supernatural as a Female”

  1. mMm
    · November 16th, 2010 at 5:57 pm · Link

    LOVE IT!


  2. Rachelle Hayes
    · November 16th, 2010 at 6:23 pm · Link

    I love Supernatural! Dean is my man!

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 9:21 pm · Link

      I’d say that I prefer Sam, but I’ve recently seen a flowchart (see in comments below by JJ) that would suggest that doing so means I’d likely turn up evil…or dead. 😆

  3. Rob Thurman
    · November 16th, 2010 at 6:45 pm · Link

    If you’re possessed by a demon, kept hostage in your own mind, tortured by the horribly murderous things it does with your body and think, Thank God! These two unbelievably hot men have come to exorcise this evil and save me…you’re wrong.

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 9:11 pm · Link

      Oh, so sad to think about it that way, but yeah. I just watched the one where Meg (the person) dies. I had somehow missed that one before.

  4. JJ
    · November 16th, 2010 at 7:58 pm · Link

    If you have to choose a Winchester, do not ever, EVER, *EVER* choose Sam Winchester. With Dean, you have a small chance of living. Sleeping with Sam Winchester is a death sentence (hai, Jessica, Madison, Ruby!) I’m pretty sure hooker-girl from S6 was run over by a truck on her way out of the motel.

    • simone
      · November 16th, 2010 at 8:19 pm · Link

      lol…so true.

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 8:50 pm · Link

      This: “I’m pretty sure hooker-girl from S6 was run over by a truck on her way out of the motel.”
      Made me laugh until I cried. And yeah, I bet you’re right! 🙂

  5. JJ
    · November 16th, 2010 at 8:00 pm · Link

    BTW, have you seen the Female Character on Supernatural Flow Chart?

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 8:51 pm · Link

      No, I hadn’t! This is awesome! Thank you!

  6. simone
    · November 16th, 2010 at 8:18 pm · Link

    lol…i loved it. but rule… 11 if you have a chance to sleep with a winchester do it cause you still might die anyway and chances are you’re gonna regret it.

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 8:51 pm · Link

      That’s a good point. If you’re going to die anyway…might as well. 😉

  7. AliKat
    · November 16th, 2010 at 8:32 pm · Link

    I think #11 should be an extension of #7. Keep holy water and salt with you at all times.

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 9:09 pm · Link

      Ha, yes, probably good advice for all characters on this show!

      • Tory
        · April 17th, 2011 at 10:13 am · Link

        WG16ui Very true! Makes a change to see smoonee spell it out like that. 🙂

    • simone
      · November 16th, 2010 at 10:28 pm · Link

      lol…agreed i think it could work

  8. Ms. Snark
    · November 16th, 2010 at 8:43 pm · Link

    Awesomesauce, though #9.. Dean’s Fright Fest barwench survived, right? She was sorta plucky, saved him too. I could be her.. if I was ridiculously pretty, thin and big breasted. I think their lady lawyer is alive, so maybe you have to have a 3-digit IQ and/or have been an iconic horror film star. 😉

    @JJ… loved the Cracked flow chart.

    • Stacey Kade
      · November 16th, 2010 at 9:08 pm · Link

      Yes, you’re right! I’d forgotten about the two of them. 🙂

    · November 16th, 2010 at 9:56 pm · Link

    i want to be Lisa! 😀

    • Roxy
      · April 17th, 2011 at 12:08 am · Link

      Thanks alot – your answer solved all my problems after several days srutgiglng

  10. Marcey
    · November 16th, 2010 at 10:46 pm · Link

    How original. So cute! Loved it! Especially number 10. I’ll take a Winchester and a short life any time. After all without a Winchester, who wants to live!

  11. Small Review
    · November 16th, 2010 at 10:56 pm · Link

    Haha, I love the flow chart and list. 😆

    I’m a Dean girl all the way, so I guess I have at least a slight chance of surviving.

  12. Magan
    · November 16th, 2010 at 10:57 pm · Link

    I think you start doing this for all TV shows. All of a sudden you have a list of how to Survive Roswell, but then you get a little more creative and all of a sudden it’s shows like Glee and Two and a Half Men! 😆

  13. Anatolia
    · November 16th, 2010 at 11:07 pm · Link

    If your a female hunter do NOT work with the Winchesters. If you do, this will lead to the loss of someone’s life such as your husband, brother or yourself.

  14. Michele
    · November 18th, 2010 at 1:36 am · Link

    Ya know, Meg (the demon, not the girl) is still alive after six seasons. Maybe we could learn something from her. Like disappear for months and only reappear when the Winchesters least expect it, and vanish again before they get a chance to kill you. And taunt them with sexual innuendo as much as possible. 😈 I love Meg.

  15. Chuppy
    · August 16th, 2014 at 5:32 pm · Link

    you should add one saying something like ‘wear plaid, wear a lot of plaid’, cus pretty much anyone in the series who has worn plaid hasn’t died, and if they have it has only been temporarily.

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