10 Rules for Surviving Supernatural as a Female
Do I have other stuff I should be doing? Most definitely. Could I resist this form of procrastination once I started thinking about it? Not with all my strength.
And so I present to you…
10 Rules for Surviving Supernatural (the show) as a Female:
1. Never, EVER, wear a white nightgown. Seriously.
2. Do not be attractive and (seemingly) alone in your place of residence. Toss on some baggy sweats and wash off your make up. It might just save your life.
3. If two unreasonably handsome men show up at your door claiming to be FBI (or any other governmental agency), answer their questions as best you can (and admire their unreasonable handsomeness) but then get the hell out of town. Trouble is somewhere nearby, if not already lurking in your home.
4. If you have kids and they’re behaving normally, stick close to them. You *might* just survive whatever is coming your way.
5. If you have kids and they’re behaving strangely, get out, get out NOW. They’ll be fine…or some kind of hellspawn or whatever.
6. Don’t be a virgin in danger. Despite best efforts, it doesn’t end well.
7. Spend your baby’s six month b-day in a circle of salt with a fire hose of holy water at the ready (or in Bobby Singer’s panic room, if you know him.)
8. If you’re an adorable little girl, well…most likely it’s already too late for you. You’re probably a demon or a ghost or weird little vampire twins…
9. Don’t be plucky, feisty, and/or seemingly capable of fighting your own battles. You’ll be called upon to sacrifice yourself.
10. If you have the opportunity to sleep with one of the Winchesters, weigh your options carefully: A long, normal life…or a short one with a brutal end (but directly preceded by said Winchester opportunity.)
Yeah, that’s what I thought. It was nice knowing you. 🙂
Okay, fellow Supernatural fans, what else am I missing? What other rules should these women know to protect themselves?